Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar
by Crystal1960
Summary: Clint got these cookies. They were kinda special. Someone ate the last one, so Clint hired a SHEILD detective to find out whom. No slash, just funny times.
1. Chapter 1

**Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?**

**Chapter 1**

_Summary: Clint got these cookies. They were kinda special. Someone ate the last one, so Clint hired a SHEILD detective to find out whom. No slash, just funny times._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything belongs to marvel and affiliated parties._

_I kinda had this dream about cookie monster, and I couldn't resist making it into a fan fiction. _

_Enjoy!_

…

The team was gathered in Stark's kitchen (in the avenger's tower) for their daily breakfast and everyone was strangely silent…Clint had lifted the lid on his cookie jar that no one, no one, ever ate from, except him. He had bought his favorite chocolate chip cookies while on a mission in Belgium, and everyone knows that cookies made with Belgian Chocolate were the best in the world. They are almost as good as the ones made with Swiss chocolate. "Who. Ate. The. Last. Cookie?!" Clint practically screamed the last word.

Steve looked up from his newspaper with an arched eyebrow. Tony and Bruce stopped talking momentarily about science and looked over. Natasha stopped reading her book and Thor stopped eating his pop tarts to look at Clint.

Natasha sighed continued reading, "Clint, that's your cookie jar. No one ever eats from that jar except for you."

"No! There was one cookie left yesterday! I was saving it for breakfast this morning! Who ate it!?"

Steve went back to reading his newspaper and said, "Cookies aren't a healthy choice for breakfast, Clint."

"So it was you!" Clint practically launched himself at the Captain.

Steve just laughed and continued reading, "I didn't eat your cookie Clint."

"Bruce!" Clint turned on the scientist sipping his coffee, "It was you! Everyone knows you have a secret sweet tooth!"

Bruce just laughed and shook his head.

Tony laughed too and said, "Look, Clint, if these cookies mean that much to you, then I'll just buy some for you, ok?"

"A-HA! It was you! You feel guilty for eating the last one, so you want to make up for it by buying me more!"

This time it was Natasha who spoke up, "Clint, the only sweet things Tony likes are alcohol and donuts. I don't think he ate your cookie."

"Then it was you!" Clint turned on her now.

She just arched an eyebrow in response. He dropped the accusing finger he was pointing at her and instead turned to Thor. "Then it was _you_."

Thor looked genuinely offended, "Brother Hawk, I would never dare to touch your sacred cookie jar. A man's sweet delights are something that no sane man would ever dare to touch."

Clint's mouth struggled to form words as his brain struggled to find someone else to blame, "Then it was Jarvis!"

"I assure you sir; it was not me who ate your cookie." Jarvis told him from the ceiling.

"Then who ate my last cookie?!"

No one responded. Instead, they all went about their work for the day; Stark and Banner heading towards Stark's lab, Steve and Thor heading down to the gym, and Natasha heading up to the roof to read.

Clint was left standing, fuming in the kitchen alone. "FINE!" he shouted to no one in particular, "If you won't tell me, then I'll just have to find you myself!"

Clint stormed out of the kitchen and into the elevator, grabbing his phone and jacket as he did. He dialed a number and held the phone up to his ear, "Give me special detective Jean Marshall."

The elevator doors closed and Clint smiled. If no one confessed, he'd make them.

No one. No. One. _Ate his cookies_.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A/N: Enjoy!

…

Jean Marshall was arguably the best detective there ever was. She had dark brown hair and piercing green eyes that could spot every detail at a crime scene in an instant. She had worked for the NYPD for 4 years before SHIELD heard of her and asked her if she would come and work for them. She had helped Clint solve many cases, yet she was surprised when Clint came into her New York office unannounced and told her what happened. "Clint." Jean was seated behind her desk and Clint was pacing, irritated. It was starting to get annoying. "Clint."

He stopped pacing to look at her.

Jean sighed, "You have to understand how ridiculous this sounds."

"Look, Jean, you know I wouldn't come to you unless it was important." Clint replied

"Clint. It's just a cookie."

"Please Jean. I have to know who's keeping the truth from me."

Jean sighed. She knew that this about much more than a cookie thief. Clint needed to know that he could trust his teammates.

Jean opened her mouth to respond when Clint cut her off, "I'll owe you a favor. Any favor. No questions."

Jean sighed again. Clint was fortunate that she wasn't working a hot case. "Alright Clint. I'll help you."

"Thanks Detective!"

Jean shook her head as she began to ask the customary questions, "Before we head back to the Tower, I need you to tell me everything that had happened since the last time you saw…um…the cookie."

Clint sat down in one of the plush chairs in front of her desk and began, "Well, last night I got back late from a SHIELD debriefing, so I decided to sneak into the kitchen and grab a quick snack. I opened the jar and there were two cookies left. I grabbed one and put the lid on the jar and then went to bed."

Jean nodded and motioned for him to continue.

"Then, this morning, I came down to the kitchen and everyone was already there."

"Please list the people who were in the kitchen the time of the…um…incident." Jean was trying very hard to act serious and professional.

"Agent Romanoff, Captain Rogers, Thor Odinson, Dr. Banner, and Tony Stark."

Jean scribbled down the names and Clint continued, "So I went to the jar where I keep the cookies and when I opened the jar, it was EMPTY! Someone had eaten my last cookie!" Clint started pacing again in frustration.

"What did you do next?"

"I questioned everyone and asked who ate it."

"What did they say?"

"They all denied having eaten the cookie!" Clint threw his hands in the air as a sign of defeat.

Jean nodded and said, "Is there anything I should be aware of before I go and investigate the…um…scene?"

"Stark said he'd buy my more cookies, which sounds to me like he feels guilty."

Jean nodded absentmindedly. It sounded to her like he just wanted this foolishness to end. "Anything else?"

"Whoever ate my last cookie is going to receive an arrow to the knee."

Jean sighed. "Alright Clint, let me grab my gear and we can head over to the Tower."

"Thank you." Clint sunk back down into the plush chair while Jean pulled out a few boxes from various drawers. She placed the boxes into her purse and motioned for Clint to lead the way.

Clint cheerfully led the way to his car. Whoever stole his cookie was gonna pay.

…

A/N: I hoped you guys liked it. I'm sorry it was so short, but hopefully the other chapters will be a bit longer. I'm planning on only having four chapters. Please R&R


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A/N: does anyone have any suggestions for a good ending? I have a few that I'm playing around with, but I'd love to hear what you think!

…

Clint broke almost all of the speed limits on his way back to the Tower, but they arrived in record time. Jean had been gripping the edge of her seat so hard that her knuckles had turned white, and by the time Clint had pulled to a stop outside the Tower, Jean was making a conscious effort not to break down and have a panic attack.

No amount of SHIELD training could prepare you for Clint Barton's driving.

As soon as the car was put in park, Clint quickly got out of the car and ran around to open Jean's door for her.

"Thank you Clint." She smiled warmly at him.

"Ya ya ya. No time for pleasantries. Get up there and solve the case of the stolen cookie." Yeah, even to him that sounded stupid, but he was too involved to care anymore. One of his teammates was lying to him, and he needed to find out whom.

Jean shook her head sadly as she climbed out of the car, "Clint, you're acting like a child on Christmas morning. Just calm down."

"Come on Jean! Hurry up!"

"Alright. Alright. I'm hurrying. I'm hurrying." Jean grabbed her bag and was barely able to close the car door before Clint had grabbed her by the arm and practically dragged her into the Tower, past security, and directly into the Avengers' private elevator.

As soon as the elevator doors shut Clint began pacing again. The elevator was small, however, and he could only take a step and a half across before having to turn around again.

Frankly, watching him made Jean dizzy, so she was glad when the elevator stopped and Clint pulled her out into the Avenger's main living room area.

Surprisingly, everyone was there, except for Pepper who had left a few weeks prior to attend to some business matters in Malibu.

As soon as they stepped out of the elevator, everyone turned to look at the visitor.

Jean was beginning to feel awkward, especially under Natasha's black stare.

It was obvious to her that none of the Avengers really took Clint seriously about his cookies. And while it did seem pretty ridiculous to her, she wanted to make a lasting impression on them. So, she shouldered her bag and motioned for Clint to lead the way, "Which was to the crime scene Clint?"

"Um… this way Jean."

Clint quickly left the room and Jean followed with her head held high.

As soon as Jean entered the kitchen, Clint pointed to a cookie jar sitting on the counter in the far corner.

Jean opened her purse and pulled out a fingerprinting kit, quickly and expertly taking prints from the jar. She them pulled out a fingerprint scanner and inserted the prints into SHIELD's system.

She them ran the prints against SHIELD's database and waited for the results.

She was unsurprised when the prints on the jar only matched Clint's.

"That doesn't mean that someone was wearing gloves, right?" he had been reading the device over her shoulder.

"It is always possible that the perp. was wearing gloves."

Clint's face brightened at the news. "What will you do next?"

Jean sighed as she pulled out another device from her bag, "Now I will get all the official statements from the suspects and witnesses and retrieve the video surveillance footage from the cameras."

Clint and Jean walked back into the living room where the Avengers were waiting for them.

Stark was the first to speak, "So bird beak, did you find any stray feathers in your nest?"

In a matter of milliseconds there was a knife deeply imbedded into the couch half a centimeter from Stark's head.

Tony gulped and paled slightly, "Forget I asked."

Clint smiled. He may be slightly crazy about his cookies, but at least he had good aim.

Jean smiled brightly at the others, "So, who's first?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

A/N: So instead of doing my trigonometry homework, I thought I'd write this instead.

Enjoy! :)

It's a longer one! Sorry this one isn't as funny, it's more of a filler chapter.

…

Of course Steve was the only one to actually volunteer, so Jean led the Captain into the kitchen and asked him to take a seat. She then began asking the customary questions: "Where were you between the hours of eleven last night and eight this morning?"

"Well, I was sleeping from eleven till 5, and then I woke up and took an hour jog around Central Park, arriving back at the Tower at 6 o'clock sharp. I then went to the gym and trained for another hour before heading up to my room for a shower. I arrived here in the kitchen at 7:30 and ate breakfast."

"Who else was in the kitchen when you arrived?"

"Natasha and Dr. Banner."

"Did you notice anything suspicious at all during this time?"

"No mam. Nothing out of the ordinary."

"Thank you Steve. Can you please send in Dr. Banner next?"

"Yes mam. And if you don't mind me asking, what is this all about?"

"Clint asked me help him find out who took his cookie."

Steve nodded and got up. He went back into the living room where he sat down next to Bruce. "You're next Banner."

Bruce sighed as he got up and went into the kitchen.

Jean was writing furiously on a notepad and without looking up said, "Where were you between the hours of eleven last night and 8 this morning?"

Bruce jumped slightly and slowly sat down, "Well, I was in my lab until about 1, and then I went to bed and woke up a little after 7. I then came downstairs for breakfast."

"Who else was in the kitchen when you arrived?"

"Just agent Romanoff."

Jean nodded and continued to scribble notes down furiously. "Did you notice anything suspicious going on between these times?"

Bruce shifted uncomfortably. "Um…"

"Go on Bruce."

"It's Natasha. Lately she's… she's been acting strangely."

"Strange how?"

"She has hardly spoken a word to anyone in weeks. I mean, she's usually silent, but she normally at least participates in conversations. Lately though, she hardly says a word outside of battles."

Jean nodded and wrote down what Bruce had said. "Thanks Bruce. Please send in Thor next."

Bruce got up calmly and went back to the living room. Stark had fallen asleep and Thor was staring angrily at the TV soap opera. Steve was dozing next to Tony and Natasha was reading a book silently on the floor. Clint was nowhere to be found.

Bruce walked over to Thor and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Ms. Marshall would like to talk with you Thor."

Thor nodded and walked out of the room, not taking his eyes off of the TV until it was blocked from his view by the wall of the kitchen.

Jean was waiting patiently when Thor sat. "Hello Thor."

"Good day lady Jean. How do you fare on this fine Midgardian day?"

"I'm doing quite well Thor. Thank you for asking. How to you like earth?"

Thor's eyes lit up joyfully. "I greatly enjoy Midgard's many forms of entertainment; especially its operas of soap."

Jean stifled a laugh as she asked, "Ok Thor, where were you between the hours of eleven last night and 8 this morning?"

"Well lady Jean, I was watching the visions of tele until late into the evening, and then I went to my chambers and rested. When I awoke I went down to the gym where I trained with Steven until he left. I then later went up to break the fast with the glorious Midgardian food pop tarts!"

"Who was in the kitchen when you arrived?"

"Dr. Banner, Agent Romanoff, and Steven."

"Ok. Have you noticed anything suspicious lately?"

"Well, Steven was strangely silent this morning during our training."

"Could you please explain that?"

"Normally Steven will talk and we will banter back and forth and perhaps share a laugh, but today he said hardly a word."

"Ok Thor. Thank you. Please go and get Stark for me."

"You are quite welcome lady Jean. Good day." Thor left the kitchen and a few moments later a very confused and sleepy Stark stumbled in. he mumbled something incoherent and went directly for the coffee machine.

"This had better be good Ms…"

"Marshall." Jean supplied. She had a feeling that this interrogation was going to be the hardest.

Tony nodded in reply and then was lost to the world as his coffee pot dinged, signaling his coffee. As soon as he down a good two cups he spoke, "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, if you could please have a seat."

"This is my house. You don't tell me to sit." He took a seat nevertheless.

Jean smiled in satisfaction as she asked, "Where were you between the hours of 11 last night and 8 this morning?"

"Is this an interrogation?"

"Just answer the question."

"Working in my lab. I came upstairs around eight for some coffee when Clint had his little molting session over his dumb cookie."

"Ok. Who was in the kitchen when you arrived?"

"Everyone but Clint, which is strange because normally he's one of the first people up."

"Did you notice anything else that was strange?"

"Yes. My coffee pot's taking longer than usual to make coffee."

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

Jean shook her head sadly, "Ok Stark, you can go. Please ask Natasha to come in here please."

Tony huffed in annoyance but did what Jean said.

Jean mentally prepared herself for what was about to happen next. Natasha had anti-interrogation skills out the wazoo. Jean knew she didn't stand a chance, yet she had to hear Natasha's side of the story.

Natasha walked in on nearly silent feet and sat down in front of Jean.

She seemed to be acting strange, and just as Jean was about to ask her a question she burst with excitement and said, "Shhh… don't tell Clint, but do you want to be in on a little secret? The Avengers and I have been planning it for months, and we'd like for you to be a part of it…"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I had finals this week.

this chapter is giving me so much trouble; you don't even want to know…

…

Jean had everyone gather in the kitchen around the island where the cookie jar sat. Jean was standing next to Clint and reviewing the security footage one last time.

Clint was hugging the cookie jar and absentmindedly petting it and whispering soothing words under his breath.

She nodded to herself and spoke, "I have determined who ate the last cookie…"

"Who! Who! Who! Tell me Jean, please I have to know!"

Jean sighed, "No one."

"What! Someone had to eat it?!"

"No one ate the last cookie Clint."

"But… but…"

Jean shook her head and pried the cookie jar from Clint's grasp. "Clint, do you know what's inside of this cookie jar?"

"Um… yeah… isn't it the packaging that the cookies came in?"

Jean nodded as she opened the lid, "Yes. And tell me, what's under the packaging?"

She held the jar out to Clint who took out the packaging. "My cookie!" He grabbed the cookie from the jar and lifted it up to his nose, inhaling deeply.

Jean shook her head sadly as she walked towards the elevator, "You still owe me that favor Clint. It was nice meeting you all. Natasha, nice move putting the cookie under the wrapper."

Clint turned around to face Natasha, "What?! You hid my cookie from me."

Natasha smiled as the others laughed, "Well Clint, as a great detective once said, 'there's nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact."

…

A:N/ What do you think? I'm so sorry the ending is so short, but I thought it'd be best to keep it simple. Please R&R, and thanks to everyone who faved and followed!


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